Gai.

My friend told me the other day that whenever I'm upset, that I should write. This guy's known me since I was fourteen, been there when I found myself, and then was there when I found myself again, as well as the umpteenth times I've re-invented myself. I guess that's why I'm writing... to see if it really does make you feel any better... Well, you wouldn't be the correct subject to put in that sentences... I guess... To see if writing makes me feel any better.

It takes a lot to admit that you're not perfect. We say it a million times. We say we're snowflakes, and that we're unique. But are we really? I like to think that I'm different, but i back stabbed my duckling just like everyone else did. I feel like crap about myself, but around her my sanity was dwindling, and dealing with the things that she was saying, was making me exponentially more upset.

I'm trying to cope; truly I am. I went to the dentist and got two stitches put in my gums. That kind of hurt. One of the stitches got ripped out during dinner and that hurt too. The dentist almost gave me the good pain meds (which i already have anyways) because he said they were going to hurt a lot. If only he knew the two root canals in my mouth hurt tenfold more then what any mini surgery I had previously this week.

I want to work on cosplay but yet again, I'm waiting for something to dry. I feel like i'm going to wake up at 4am and not be able to fall asleep and just end up down there, sanding away. That sounds like something I would do. I mean, I bake cupcakes and cookies at four o'clock in the morning so why wouldn't I work on finishing up some wooden guns?

I guess I'm too involved in cosplay because the signifigant other seems to be progressively getting more mad at me for it. I don't know, cosplay is some escape... Some escape that i stabbed my duckling in the back, and i'm only getting four hours a week at work, and i'm failing french steadily. I really am hoping to come home tomorrow and magically my staff head will be done, as well as the little pieces that I can't cut in my guns. Maybe even some of their sanding.

Doubt that one though. Wish I had a cuddle partner for the night. Don't know what kind of else nonsense to write. Just kinda... blabbering on about how pathetic I feel sometimes. :}

Happy... Whatever.