I don't know what to call this mess

I somewhat wish that my blog wasn't on public so that I didn't have to show anybody my feelings. It seems like right now i suck them inside and just kind of smother them in coal until they go away. This could be distaste for someone, or a love for someone, or just anything all in general gets tucked into the bottom of my bowels and stays there for all eternity.

People are saying that I look unhealthy, but only if they knew how i'm actually feeling.

My french teacher keeps bashing on our English skills and I keep wanting to tell her exactly as the meaning of this blog. It doesn't matter what verbs are used, nor how great the grammar is. However, the words and the meaning of the words are what matters. Who cares if i said i have went to go see my cat vs. i went to see my cat. I certainly don't. You understood the meaning of that passage.

So please, Miss french teacher, stop grading three questions on my test and then giving me an F, when the back was my strong point. At least on the back I didn't have to do the cat questions. I'm in my school lounge as normal right now, and the people around me remind me of highschoolers. Most people remind me that I feel like i'm in high school.

I don't understand drama. I don't understand hating someone because of pure misconceptions. I don't understand why more people are not like that.

I hate the dirty looks i get, and i hate how much i don't care. I hate being cursed out by little sickly looking girls, and I hate how much everyone but me cares.

The kid next to me is sad about love, and i wish i could be. But truth is, the dumb highschoolers have blinded me towards any emotions that i might conceive. Words are shit. Words hurt. People hurt. Why should we talk to them? Wow, that just sounded like a schizophrenic psychopath. I'm surprised i spelled both of those words right.

I do hate my french class though. Seriously. How can you try so hard at something and still fail? It makes me not want to try you know... not want to try at all. I think this is why at the beginning of the semester that I didn't care so much about it. I knew i would fail if i tried. i knew that no tudor in the world could save me. I knew that the teacher would only grade three of my sentences, and I knew that life would get so much worse.

much worse.

Correct english there. We just learned about that in french class too. It doesn't become much worse, it becomes plur or something. Some little name that starts with a P.

Speaking of plur, why can't anybody use it? :/ Peace, love, understanding, respect.