Glasses

I got new glasses today. To me they simbolize failure. Failure to spend my own money on them, and failure to not have enough to just get my eyes fixed in the first place. I've been saving up pretty much since i got my laptop (in the ninth grade). Five thousand dollars isn't just chump money.

When i got my job though, i began to save up more avidly. Mainly because all of a sudden, my dreams became reachable. Yet again i feel my family continue to tare me away from these dreams. I'm trying to get a second job now, so i can get more money, quickly before summer. Then i can try to get it done then (if i am a candidate). My sister's first remark is "why do you need another one?"

Because i'm getting five hours every other week and the company that i am working for is going out of buisness-- that's why.

I'm trying to apply to starbucks. Trying to figure out the Venti Soy Chai No Water, from the inside out.

They're cute glasses though. Kind of a goldie brown color, like the color of coffee, with little cut out flowers, slowly progressing in size up to the actual lense. Dad decided not to get a protection plan on them, which may bite him in the butt later. My glasses like to break, so i'll have to be extra carefull with them.

At least this year i won't be throwing wet flags at my face.

I need to get into serving, but i doubt my abilities. Remember that learned helplessness thing? How can i take care of people? I'm too clumbsy, i'm too stupid, and forgetfull. Fuck you. I can do anything. But maybe i'll start into serving small; starbucks, or just something that requires specialties more than just asking about borders rewards plus cards.

I rock at the plus cards, even as Borders is slowly meeting it's demise. It helps to believe in your product. It helps to believe in yourself.