I feel like...

So recently i haven't been sleeping, and I  haven't really been taking my sleeping pills either, so I guess that's not helping, but I just kind of feel like I should be able to sleep without them and I'm not and I kind of just want to be held, while I cry, and someone strokes my hair and tells me everything will be all right. I think my mind is... broken.
I was diagnosed bipolar over a year ago, but I've known for a really long time. Symptoms of bipolar include

Depression:

• Depressed mood and low self-esteem

• Excessive crying spells

• Low energy levels and an apathetic view of life

• Sadness, loneliness, helplessness, feelings of guilt

• Slow speech, fatigue, and poor coordination and concentration

• Insomnia or oversleeping

• Thoughts of suicide or dying

• Changes in appetite (overeating/not eating)

• Unexplainable body aches and pains

• Lack of interest or pleasure in usual activitie

And Mania:

• Euphoria or irritability

• Excessive talking; racing thoughts

• Inflated self-esteem

• Unusual energy; less need for sleep

• Impulsiveness, a reckless pursuit of gratification -- shopping sprees, impetuous travel, more and sometimes promiscuous sex, high-risk business investments, fast driving

• Hallucinations and or delusions (psychotic features such as these may be involved in about one out of every two of cases of bipolar mania)

I think the only thing I haven't had are delusions, so I guess i have that going for me. I don't know, but you know that Mania that I talked about right now, and that excessive talking and feeling, well I'm feeling it now. 

I don't know how to make it stop and that kind of scares me and I don't know anything. And I just want to cry and sleep. and cry some more.